Sadly, Aunt Kay has passed away, after a battle with cancer.

You can read more and leave condolences at

The Disciplinary Wives Club was created by Aunt Kay. It was the FIRST OF IT'S KIND, and flourished .

It was my first introduction into the idea that  a MAN CAN and SHOULD be spanked, if in a CONSENSUAL spanking relationship.

Although not relevant to the woman being spanked by her partner, Aunt Kay had a big impact on me in finding that a woman could spank her husband. With her coherent and thoughtful writings, it made the idea that spanking in a marriage was permissible, and even desirable, if consensual. It almost meant that I was not totally insane, nor was I alone in these feelings.

It extolled the positive effects spanking can have for a couple, but more than that Aunt Kay's writings explained the logic behind the spankings, and how to administer spankings.

Spanking is not something that is natural to people , in a loving relationship. One does not want to hurt their partner, but a spanking can effectively permit the spanked person to see the errors of their ways. This can usually lead to a change in their behavior that is advantageous for the relationship.

I purchased all of Aunt Kay's Lifestyle books,  and Cindy read some of them also. We once met Aunt Kay and her husband  Tomy in a restaurant for dinner, and we had a very lovely time. With everyone's agreement, we went back to their house to discuss the lifestyle more openly, and Aunt Kay demonstrated to Cindy how to use various implements on my bottom, and then Cindy practiced.

Prior to meeting , Cindy and I  had communicated many times by email with Aunt Kay, It takes time for your partner to accept spanking you, if the thought is alien to their upbringing and way of thinking and living.

Reading Aunt Kay's site encouraged me to start the blog
which was one of a very few blogs about spanking at that time, and quite possibly the first blog written by a man about being the spanked person, not the spanker.. A good friend at the tiem was Bonnie, who had recently started her blog  

Without Aunt Kay, the spanking world would not be as spanking prolific and spanking SANE. 

Aunt Kay was a leader in the world of a man being spanked by his wife. 

Thank you Aunt Kay...
You will be missed, but always remembered

apologies for different font colors, as a couple were off, having copied from a letter I sent, and trying to fix this caused havoc.
Red and Cindy
Mike and Lynn


Barb said...

Oh no! I'm shocked! I've known Aunt Kay since she & her sweet submissive husband made an audio tape for me back in the dark old days before she started the DWC. We've kept in touch & supported each other since, but she didn't say a word about being ill which is understandable, but I wish she would have so I could have said what I'll only be able to say here now. You were a brave & classy broad, Kay! Thanks for being a friend. You'll live on in my memories & many others. RIP

Anonymous said...

I never contacted her, but I remember looking at her website years ago, long before I had any experience of adult spanking in real life. She was a pioneer in bringing F/M spanking out of the closet. I am sure she inspired many other men to tell their partners of their interest, and many women to discipline them.
A very sad day. She will never be forgotten.

Dan Mel said...

I can't believe she is gone. I too purchased all of Aunt Kay's Lifestyle books and my wife learned how to discipline me from those books. My wife spoke to Aunt Kay a couple of times and Aunt Kay gave my wife a lot of tips on spanking and encouraged her to blister my behind. Aunt Kay told my wife that spanking me OTK was the most loving way to discipline me.
You will be missed Aunt Kay.

Hermione said...

I'm very sorry to hear of Aunt Kay's passing. She will be greatly missed.


Anonymous said...

The spanking world lost a wonderful person. I have read her site many times. Some of you were lucky to have met her and even some luckier to have been spanked by her. RIP Aunt Kay

Tomy Nash said...

This is her surviving hubby writing. THANK YOU all for honoring her memory. She was such a bright spirit and my best friend. I'll share an aspect of our last weeks together here because there arenn't that many places to talk about it and I know this readership will appreciate it.

She gave me instructions for going forward in life. First and foremost was to have no regrets about anything and know our love had been prefect for her.
She also expected me to continue to receive discipline. She was definite about that. The ideal situation in her mind, which I don't see as probable, was for a genuine DWC wife to take care of that. She mentioned several couples we knew from the past (her memory was very sharp) and in those days it could have worked. But too many years have past since we had been socializing.

And she realized that there was the possibility (reality) that I would become like one of those lost, single, men who often wrote; desperately in need of spanking but with no where to turn. And she said it was perfectly fine with her if I had to find a professional. She even specified a woman in San Francisco that we knew and she really liked from the early days.

I really don't know what I will do. It's too soon. But I had a random thought. I don't mind paying a Pro, they deserve to be paid for their valuable service. All of them really do charge a lot of money though and if I found an actual DWC wife who needed money, well that could be more in the "community spirit".

Thanks for being an outlet for expressing of this, DWC part of what I'm going through. It's not exactly something I can talk about outside of the community.

Tomy Nash said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Red said...

Barb: thanks for sharing your memories of a good person.

Richard: she shared a LOVING knowledge of a lifestyle that is very useful for some couples.

Dan: thanks for sharing your interaction and kind words about Aunt Kay.

Hermione: kind words. Thanks

archedone: We are very lucky to have read her site and books, and to have met her.

Tomy: thank you for sharing. I think all couples need to talk of how they would like their partner to continue living and enjoying life, remembering the past, but also enjoying the future. We have had that talk, and discussed our wishes with our children.
Good luck my friend, and we can always chat via email when I am in town and not traveling.

RIP Aunt Kay

Red and Cindy